I have started several blogs in my lifetime. In following the advice of all the ‘professional bloggers’ I always chose a particular part of my life to focus on. There was one about crafts, but I was too neurotic and most of my projects remained unfinished when my perfectionism got in the way. In the beginning of my fibromyalgia journey I had a blog about that, but that was so depressing! I never could put the spin on it that would make it not sound so whiny. In my dreams I had one of those awesomely hysterical mommy blogs, but really, I am just not that witty on my own. Now, put me in a confined space with my mom or one of my daughters and I’m a freaking riot – but on paper, not so much.
I have been thinking about this for a while. I participated in NaNoWriMo a few months ago and wrote every day, easily meeting the 50k word goal. Then I stopped, writing only sporadically, and I missed it. The book is still in process, but it’s about the last year or so of my life, meeting the man of my dreams and his subsequent battle with cancer. (Let me not recommend this as a way to tap into the writer in you.) Many people told me to blog about it, but I didn’t want to. It was too real. I never planned on publishing it in my name anyway. So I could say whatever I wanted, be totally real, no censoring myself like I always have.
I set this up over a week ago – and put my name on it. Then I thought perhaps that was a mistake. Could I do it? Really type it all out, tell you the unvarnished truth, with my name on it? I considered it, and that is why it took me so long to post. But here it is – I go to 12 step meetings and I put it all out there, telling the truth to these people, crying if I need to, bitching, cursing, whatever I need to do. If I can do it there, then why on earth couldn’t I do it here? Realistically who is going to see it anyway? People that need to see it. And if you don’t like it, you can go read someone else’s funny blog. If you want the real deal, that you can find here.